SHAME ON THE BUNNY 12

 Part 1 of The Lies We Told Each Other

Fandoms:
Top Gun (Movies), Thunderheart (1992)

Relationships:
Tom "Iceman" Kazansky/Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Sarah Kazansky/Tom "Iceman" Kazansky, Sarah Kazansky/Tom "Iceman" Kazansky/Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Walter Crow Horse/Ray Levoi

Characters:
Tom "Iceman" Kazansky, Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Carole Bradshaw, Sarah Kazansky, Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, Ron "Slider" Kerner, Ray Levoi, Walter Crow Horse, Grandpa Samuel Reaches, Original Child Character(s)

Additional Tags:
Trans Male Character, Unplanned Pregnancy, Secret Relationship, Polyamory, Tom "Iceman" Kazansky Lives

Summary:
The origin of two of the best pilots in the US Navy in the first half of the 21st century.
Jake "Hangman” Seresin is known for his aggressive flight, strategic mind, lack of patience with injustice, and disinterest in teamwork or long-term human relationships - except for Javier "Coyote" Machado and Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw.
Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw is known for his patience in the air, impeccable aim, unbearable good humor in the morning, his ability as a mediator, and his obsession with taking care of Jake "Hangman” Seresin. Why didn't the son of the famous Nick "Goose” Bradshaw go straight to Annapolis?

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Chapter 12: 2000 

Monday, February 21, 2000

"The doctor will see you now, Mr. Mitchell."

"Thank you Stacey," he says with a professional seducer's smile.

But she doesn't blush, instead giving him a penetrating look as she activates the control to open the door to the surgery. Pete sighs and heads to the office without saying anything else. Understandably, this young woman can recognize his falseness easily. Who knows how many families pretending to be normal she deals with every day.

Urwen Poole's office is cleverly blended with ocher and blue colors, making it warm and calming. The woman doesn't get up from her desk, but she's looking at him when he walks in and gestures for him to come closer while smiling.

"Mr. Mitchell, welcome."

He forces himself to smile, too.

"Good morning, Dr. Poole."

"Sit down, please."

The man leaves his raincoat on the hanger by the door and goes to one of the chairs in front of the bureau.

"How are things at home?"

"Well, yes. The exercises have worked, and Jake is sleeping better."

"How is "better"?"

Pete makes an uncomfortable face.

"Now, the nightmares are only twice a week."

She nods, checks something in her notes, and looks back at him.

"A significant improvement for three months. Congratulations."

Pete purses his lips, annoyed. He doesn't want improvements; he wants solutions. She recognizes his expression and makes a disgruntled noise.

"I told you it would take time, Mr Mitchell."

"I've built bikes in less time than Jake has been coming here."

Dr. Poole gives him the same penetrating expression the secretary gave him. Will they teach you that look in schrink school?

"Eight years, Mr. Mitchell, eight years of untreated trauma is what Jake has. And you expect me to be fixed in six months. I warned you to lower your expectations."

Pete breathes slowly like he was taught in one of the early sessions.

"I know, I know… do you at least have a diagnosis? You told me to come alone for that, didn't you?"

"Yes, I have a diagnosis, but you won't like it."

He gets up and goes to the window. It's raining. Rain is unusual for San Diego, but February is the city's wettest month. The drops hit hard like hundreds of invisible hands drummed against the glass. Contemplate the trajectory of some drops while repeating the breathing exercises. When he thinks he's calmed down, he returns to his seat.

The doctor doesn't seem to be worried. She just writes calmly and raises her face when Pete speaks again.

"Tell me."

"I want to make clear something. I would prefer not to give you a diagnosis, but I understand that you, Mrs. and Mr. Kazansky, need concrete guidance to move forward. With the development of the Internet," -she makes an uncomfortable face- "many people start looking for information as soon as their doctors give them a term. I warn you, it can be dangerous."

Pete nods. They're in complete agreement on that. Sarah comes in almost daily with a new story of pregnant people with the wildest ideas, like giving up milk or avoiding vaccinating their babies because they read about it on some wacko blog. When Ice visits, he also speaks with increasing concern about using disinformation to destabilize entire communities or countries and about the dark web as a meeting place for common criminals and terrorists. Cyberwarfare, they call it, and there is talk of creating a new center in the Office of Naval Intelligence dedicated exclusively to the subject.

"I live with a health professional, Dr. Poole; don't worry about that."

"Jake presents extreme symptoms of "adoption trauma."

"Adoption trauma?" repeats Pete, incredulous.

The woman nods silently. He rests his elbows on his knees, lowers his head, and hides his face in his hands. His hair - which hasn't been cut since he technically became a civilian almost two years ago - falls on the sides like a curtain.

Again, he appeals to the breathing exercises. He can't! He can't lose control now!

"It is okay, Mr. Mitchell."

The voice sounds very close. Pete raises his head and sees Urwen in front of him. She offers him a box of tissues.

"Let it out. This is precisely the place to let it out."

He takes a couple of tissues and wipes his tears. He knows what the doctor thinks: that he is a heterosexual, repressed, and probably homophobic officer, unable to process his feelings without alcohol and/or violence. It doesn't matter what he told her in the lengthy initial interview or what Jake tells her during his sessions. Poole treats him as if he were a potential abuser, ready to explode at any moment.

Pete has a hard time processing his feelings, yes, but he gave up on doing it with alcohol after he woke up for the third time in a strange bed, accompanied by unknown people. Since entering the Navy school, he has only drunk socially to play the role of sophisticated and self-important officer expected of the son of Duke Mitchell. He couldn't afford to lose control and look too much at the wrong person.

He can't blame her. For the trained eye of the therapist, the constant duplicity of his life must be evident. The problem is that he can't tell Urwen Poole that what he hides is not violence but love. After all, he does not know how much professional-patient privilege covers the patient's parent. He does know he's going back to the Navy and won't leave loose ends that could lead to a DADT investigation. It is a luxury that cannot be given.

Settling to give the woman an exasperated look, he grabs another pair of tissues and blows his nose.

She decides not to return to the bureau but to take the chair across from Pete.

"Is it something I did?" he asks when he can speak without his voice shaking.

"Yes, it's something you did, but not voluntarily, so don't blame yourself."

Pete thinks a bit. Which of his many mistakes would lead Jake to feel "adopted"? Ice's recounting of how Jake reacted to Sean's arrival flashes back in his memory. But Urwen Poole doesn't like to waste time.

"When he was separated from his biological mother. That's where the trauma started. You didn't notice anything different about Jake when he was a baby, but the problem was there. How he found out Carole Bradshaw wasn't his mother didn't cause the trauma. It brought it out."

Pete winces. He has wondered a thousand times if their own stories of childhood abandonment made them ignore the possible harm they would do to Jake.

"But how can you feel trauma for something you don't remember?"

"Mr. Mitchell, there is evidence that, before birth, fetuses listen to music outside and react to it. Some experiments indicate that they can even understand the tone of conversations. They are also known to remember the mother's heart rate and calm down when hearing it."

"Yes, we do notice that. Jake had difficulty calming down in the first week, but when he heard that voice…" -he trails off and looks guiltily at Pole. She nods.

"You saw it but could not recognize it. Very few people are aware of the effect of violent separation between mother and newborn. The fact is that Jake experienced trauma and that event in February of '95."

"When Sean born."

"Yeah. He shouldn't have found out he wasn't Carole's biological son. You should have told him. Revealing any uniqueness of their identity to a child should be planned so he can perceive the support of their main parental figures. In this case, you and your wife. That he found out from a casual comment from Bradley and then Mr. Kazansky had to explain things to him was" —she winces uncomfortably— "unfortunate."

Pete suppresses the urge to laugh. Actually, Tom was the best person, but neither Jake nor the doctor can know that.

"Carole's death was the straw that broke the camelback in Jake's trauma."

"But that doesn't fit." He runs his tongue over his lips and tries to order his ideas. "You say he has adoption trauma because he lost his mother?"

"No. I said that he has extreme symptoms that coincide with that process. He lost his biological mother and was adopted by Carole, whom he recognized as his original mother until he found out she had adopted him. You told me that in February of '95, he had a violent regressive episode."

"Yeah. Crying, insecurity, physical separation anxiety, bedwetting. It took him about four months to recover."

She denies.

"Jake never recovered. He just learned to hide it."

"What!?"

"It's a primary defense mechanism. You realize that your behavior makes people in authority over you uncomfortable, and you try to correct it. He was a four-year-old boy. He didn't understand much beyond the fact that his world was broken and the adults around him were disturbed. You told me that Brad, your eldest son, became violent at a certain point, right?"

Pete nods.

"Mr. Kazansky did something very clever with the adoption ceremony between Carole, Brad, and Jake: he gave your son back a sense of control over his life and convinced him that he was in the family for love. The problem has been the death of your wife. Again, this is something over which you had no control. That was the turning point for Jake."

"Should I have noticed then? Seek psychological help immediately?"

"The whole family was in mourning, Mr Mitchell. It is useless to discuss now whether there were signs or not. Your son is a good actor, like you."

Pete lets out a bitter laugh.

"I didn't want him to use that trait so early in life."

"What we want and what we get are often different things," she replies. "I only ask you to understand: your son has experienced three losses of mother figures in eight years of life. Most people have a hard time recovering when they lose one. You claim you couldn't control Rachel's leaving and certainly you couldn't prevent Carole's cancer."

"Wait a minute! I claim?"

"Well, you must admit that what you've revealed about the mother of your child is incredibly vague. Not even a last name. It's reasonable to think that you have more information. Right?"

Pete leans back in his chair, wary. For a moment, he thinks that Jake has recruited his therapist to question him, but he dismisses the idea as absurd.

"I have a lot of information, doctor, but it is classified."

"That doesn't work for Jake."

"I don't think a dead father is of much use to him either," the woman's eyes widen, clearly surprised. Pete isn't talking about himself, he's talking about Ice, but she doesn't have to know the difference.

"I am a soldier. I have lived in military bases since I was twenty years old. Half the things I've done for our government will be declassified by 2050. Where do you think I met Rachel?"

He gets up and walks to the window. It continues to rain, and people are running on the sidewalks. Rain is unusual in San Diego, so very few people have umbrellas. They wear their jackets to protect themselves. He clasps his hands behind his back and speaks again without turning towards the office's interior.

"I told Jake and repeat it to you: it was not a voluntary separation, but Rachel had to leave within the week. It was all the time we could get. I am deeply sorry that my mistakes harmed my son, but I will protect that identity with my life."

He hears Poole move and assumes she has returned behind the bureau. How much of what he has said and left unsaid really surprises her? After all, they are in San Diego, a city whose identity is almost inseparable from the presence of the Navy and its personnel. A town full of Navy secrets.

They chose Urwen Poole after a careful four-month search because she specializes in non-traditional families and passed military intelligence security screening. He suspects that "non-traditional families" is code for "willing to give therapy to mistresses and bastard children of high officials", but they don't care. Poole has never said a word about his unique domestic arrangement with the Kazanskys. They are grateful.

"Mr. Mitchell," she finally calls him, and Pete realizes he's lost in thought. He returns to sit down.

"I want us to go over the symptoms of Jake's disorder, and then I'll give you some recommendations on how to alleviate them. Let's assume that your son suffered from Rachel's departure, the discovery of Carole's adoption, and the loss of his adoptive mother. In the end, all these experiences produce abandonment syndrome. It doesn't have to be willful or malicious. I can't speak to Rachel's motives, but I'm sure Carole Bradshaw didn't want to die of cancer. It is what it is on a psychological level."

"Jake will always carry an ambiguous loss regarding Rachel, the mother he met in his prenatal experience, but whose bond they had to break. Adults who were adopted at birth or at a few months have described the ambiguous loss as a feeling of anguish and confusion regarding physically absent people, but psychologically present in their life. Jake will often think of Rachel, wondering if she is alive, if he will see her again, and if she thinks of him."

"At the same time, it's hard to shake the doubt: Did she reject him? Did she choose to leave him behind? This already affects his self-esteem. He feels insecure about his position in the family, and that's why he jumps in to help Sam and Sean. He wants you to consider him valuable. Outside of the family space, he will try to mask this low self-esteem with aggressiveness and resistance to authority as mechanisms to maintain control."

"As he grows, you must be aware of his social and romantic life. People with abandonment syndrome fear that all personal relationships are temporary or based on interest. Those who do not get something in return will abandon them. That can lead in two ways. One is to subconsciously try to prevent further loss by maintaining emotional distance and avoiding commitments to other people. If he establishes friendships or romances, he may try to leave these relationships when he perceives them as too big or intense to prevent betrayal. The other way..."

"I know what the other way is" -Pete knows very well what it is to let himself be used for fear of abandonment. Some nights, he also has nightmares about what would have happened if he didn't get accepted into ROTC. Their son is vulnerable to abusive relationships because he and Tom… He swallows hard.

"What else?"

She raises her eyebrows. She must be reading him like an open book, but Pete doesn't care.

"Perception that his identity is incomplete. This is what fuels his constant inquiry about Rachel. You want answers to questions that would help you form your identity. If you have relatives anywhere and resemble your family of origin in appearance or other characteristics."

He can't contain a hysterical laugh. Jake lives with his blood family!

Pete often wonders how no one knows just by looking at a family photo. Tom and Sarah look very alike. The shape of their faces and lips are identical. It is the color of their hair and eyes that distinguishes them. Sam, Jake, and Sean all have Seresin chins - a trait they share with Ray, Tom, Sarah, and half their relatives up to five generations ago, according to surviving yellowing photos of the cottage in Allen - but the girl has dark hair and eyes, while the boys inherited Pete's green eyes and Tom's blond hair —in Sean's case, they have no idea what happy genetic accident caused it.

"There is another feature of Jake that I don't know whether to attribute to abandonment syndrome or genetics. Your son is an adrenaline junkie."

"Finally, something good!"

"Mr. Mitchell!"

He shrugs.

"I know how to deal with that, doctor. Jake will be a Navy pilot, get all the adrenaline rushes he wants, and even get paid. Please tell me what to do with the rest."

She sighs, looks at her notes again, and rubs the bridge of her nose.

"You… won't you try to negotiate?"

"Excuse me?" He looks at her blankly.

"When you brought Jake to me six months ago, you hoped I would make him forget about Rachel and all that drama. No? Now I tell you he will never forget her, and you just accept it?"

Pete raises an eyebrow, questioning.

"Do you want me to get in touch with my feelings or something? You already told me that this can't be fixed. My only feelings are, "Oh fuck, we screwed up big! I promised to take care of our baby, but I forgot to tell him that Carole was his stepmom, and now Jake is vulnerable to abusive relationships. I will have to bug the house of all his friends."

Besides, if he's aggressive and has issues with authority now, I don't even want to think about what will happen when I finally tell him Rachel's true identity. But that will be in twelve or thirteen years, it is a problem for the future. There is nothing to negotiate, doctor. My son has extreme "adoption trauma" symptoms, just as my partner of fifteen years died of cancer and gravity pulls you down. Tell me, what's the point of negotiating with a disease?

She looks into his eyes intensely, finally nodding.

"Okay. Like you said, you can't fix it. Only practice techniques to lessen the impact of the trauma on his future life. We will have to continue the sessions, and when he turns twelve, I will recommend another therapist specializing in adolescents. Do you agree?"

Pete nods. He wouldn't dream of pulling Jake out of therapy as he enters his most dangerous age.

"What you have to do, Mr. Mitchell, is cultivate your son's confidence. Self-confidence will gradually restore self-esteem and confidence in his family, reducing his socialization difficulties outside the home." -She points to some colorful folders on the right side of his bureau- These are "Life Books," one for each family member. You will fill them in collectively and incorporate them into each week's routine. You and Tom and Sarah Kazansky are orphans, right?"

"Yeah."

"I want you to share that with Jake. Only as far as they are comfortable, of course. The goal is for Jake to soothe his anxiety about being inadequate, seeing that he's not the only one missing bits of his family history. You lost your parents, but you are successful people. Above all, you find other people who love you unconditionally. There's no reason he can't make it. You follow me?"

That night, in Sarah's arms, Pete wonders if there will be a happy ending for his family.

He remembers Ray Seresin's prophecy: “My visions rarely show happiness, Tommy. Just know that accepting Maverick's plan is the best of all bad scenarios on offer. Because a trans man doesn't become an admiral in the United States Navy with talent and kindness alone."

Did he sacrifice his children to ensure his husband's professional success?

 

Saturday, October 21, 2000

"Icepop, you're home" -he no longer says it with the mischievous squeal of two years ago. His voice is low now, and the joy is contained, hesitant. Jake's emotion can only be seen in his green eyes, bright with unshed tears.

Tom wants to hit his head against the wall. Jake has improved after nearly a year of therapy, but his insecurities are still evident at times like this. The boy fears that distance will erode Ice's love, so his greetings are no longer thunderous. It is useless to talk about this. He must act. The man puts the suitcase down, hugs his son, lifts him in the air, and spins him around. Jake lets out a happy squeal, giving up any attempt to appear dignified and detached.

"What are you doing Icepop?" he asks between laughs.

"I punish you with a bear hug," he roars, then noses into her neck and cheeks. "What way is that to receive Icepop after being away for so long?"

"I'm sorry!" -says the boy between laughs- "I'm sorry!"

"If I release you, will you receive me accordingly?" -and kisses his cheeks.

"Yes, I will do it. Put me down, Icepop."

"Okay," he leaves him on the ground and retrieves his suitcase. "Let's start over."

Jake walks back into the house, stops in the middle of the hall, turns, runs out, and yells.

"Icepop has arrived!" -and throws himself at him with hands ready to tickle him.

Iceman drops writhes with laughter on the portal floor, and enjoys the moment. He won't get many more opportunities like this, and he knows it. Even if Jake doesn't carry his traumas, he's growing. When he's eleven or twelve, he won't want to tickle his old man on the floor anymore. Tom still remembers the day when Brad just gave him a quick hug before running to the schoolyard to meet his friends. It broke his heart a little. At least he still has four more years with Sean.

"Icepop?" Jake's tense voice lets him know that he's lost in thought.

He smiles at him from the ground, and his son's green eyes shine again.

"It's okay, my boy. It's just that it amazes me how big you are. Come on, help me up."

Finally, he enters the house.

Bradley is sitting on the living room couch with the Nintendo 64 in his hands, as he suspected. He barely says "Hello Icepop" and continues to move his fingers at a frantic speed. Something explodes on the screen. Tom leans in to speak into Jake's ear.

"What does your brother play?"

"Zelda." -says the boy with a contemptuous tone. "He's hooked on that silly Link and the story of saving a moon or something."

"You still don't like it?"

Ice knows that it has been a source of tension in the house. Brad and Sam prefer adventure video games, like "Legend of Zelda" or "Metal Gear." Jake and Sean only seem to be interested in racing sims like "Superbike, ""Excitebike," or "Ridge Racer," and, of course, the Jane series of flight simulators. Mav can't contain his pride every time the matter comes up.

His son just wrinkles his nose.

"It's not real," he sneers.

Ice does not say that the F/A-18 Superhornets first flew in 1995, more than seventy years after the end of the Russian Civil War, so the proposed campaign in "Jane's F/A-18" isn't very realistic either. It is better to move the conversation to safe ground.

"Can you tell me how it goes with the "US Navy" Fighters 97" while unpacking?"

Jake's eyes light up with delight, and he starts chattering about mission parameters, aircraft options, and flight stats as they head up the stairs.

Over dinner, Brad emotionally tells him that he has already received his candidate number for the Annapolis Naval Academy and forced his father to take him to a briefing hosted by Representative Bob Filner's office.

Tom grunts at the name. Filner is a Democrat. Rumors in DC attribute him a persistent interest in helping veterans and female thighs. In neither of the two issues does he accept a no.

Across the table, Mav has his, "and you still don't know the best" face. Ice only has a moment to control his expression before Bradley drops the bombshell.

"Icepop, I want you to review my application," -Brad explains enthusiastically. "You went to Annapolis, just like my father. Unlike Mavdad, who had to go to the AVROC program." there is an absolutely unexpected derogatory intonation.

A mock arcade follows his plead.

"Sam!" Sarah scolds.

"He hasn't stopped talking about it in a month," scoffs the girl. "I swear, Icepop, I would have bought him a ticket and send him to see you in Maryland, but selling lemonade isn't that profitable. Besides," -she looks accusingly at her older brother- "it's ugly that suddenly Mavdad isn't cool enough for you. Mavpdad is the best pilot!"

Pete spits out water, surprised. The thing has never escalated so much before. Sean bursts out laughing and grabs his glass, clearly intending to spit out water, too, but Jake —always alert— holds him out.

Bradley looks at his sister with a red face.

"The Naval Academy is the best public university in the country," he tells her incredulously.

She looks at him as if he had said something absurd.

"Well, if they didn't accept Mavdad when he applied, it must not be such a good school." -She sticks out his tongue to emphasize his point.

"You don't know what you're talking about! You are a girl!"

"Bradley Bradshaw-Mitchell!" Sarah is ballistic.

"I was referring to her age, iná!"

In the midst of it all, Ice notices how Jake tries to make himself invisible. Though he probably dreams of applying to Annapolis as well, the boy's lips are pursed into a thin line, his face carefully blank of expression. He concentrates on feeding Sean, who has forgotten his plate, enjoying the fight.

Pete notices it, too, winces, and hastily cuts off.

"It's over! There's a new house rule: No college applications will be discussed at lunch. If you're so interested in the matter, Brad, instead of grabbing the Nintendo tomorrow, go with Ice to the office so you can talk."

That night, Sarah expresses her opinion during the routine of getting ready for bed.

"He shouldn't go to the Naval Academy so young, and you two know it."

"Honey…" -Ice tries to appease her by caressing her shoulder.

She slaps him and forces him to move away.

"Do not try to distract me. Brad has to spread his own wings, and he's not going to do that at a school where he'll be "the son of" any one of the three of you. Above all, he needs to understand the civilian world and how people live without the DADT."

"I agree." says Mav with a weary expression as he crawls under the covers.

"And why don't you two tell him?" –after Sarah's slap, the blonde went to sit on a corner of the bed. He crosses his arms over his chest and purses his lips. "You want me to play "bad cop" because I'm not home every day."

Sarah's face goes from angry to mocking.

"Oh, my poor husband suffers because his bed in Maryland is empty and cold," she croons.

The light tone does not please the man.

"It's easy for you. You have Mav or Tommy" -as they named the dildo Ray and Walter gave them- "available to satisfy you. I only have my hand. Is it too much to ask for some love on the first night back? I already had a family fight in the dining room."

She sighs and extends a hand to him.

"It's fair. Come here. I want to sleep between my two men."

They do that, sleep. Just smelling the scent and hearing the sounds of their spouses makes Tom rest better than in his sterile apartment in Suitland, Maryland.

After breakfast on Sunday, Ice spends some time in the office with Jake, working on his "Book of Life." Since he is not home often, he is behind the family on the task.

Usually, he comes home the last weekend of the month if there is no crisis. Jake and Tom do a section each visit. Ice decided to answer almost all the questions about his past honestly. Except for his parents: he said in the recruiting interview that they were dead, and, at least in his heart, that's true. His childhood photos are also not available. To fill in those blanks, he asked Ray for help. Since they're twins, it's not technically cheating, right?

He really enjoys these sessions with his child, even if finding out how many pages he must leave blank in the early childhood section hurts a little. That pain is offset by how Jake realizes how much he has compared to Sarah, Pete, and Tom.

An hour of work is a lot for a nine-year-old boy. Around ten o'clock, Ice sends Jake to the yard to break his record on the obstacle course. The man goes to the living room, where Brad is oblivious to the world with his eyes on the screen, headphones on, and the Nintendo 64.

He touches his shoulder gently, and the teen jerks and lets out a strangled cry.

"You scared me!"

"You were totally disconnected from your environment. That's not good."

Brad winces.

"I'm home," and the naked confidence the answer reveals makes Ice smile.

"Do you want to talk about your application?"

Excited, Brad pauses the game and runs to his room to find the documents. Ice goes to the kitchen, where Pete is with Sarah in a role that befits his culinary talents: dishwasher.

"I'm going to talk to Brad from the Academy. Are you coming Mav?"

His husband nods. His expression as he removes the rubber gloves and apron is meditative. They walk to the office together.

"I don't know why he won't listen to me," Mav says suddenly. "I'm doing something wrong."

Ice puts a hand on his shoulder.

"He is a teenager. It is in his nature to be stubborn."

Brad enters the office smiling and carrying a bulging folder. Seeing Pete sitting in the corner, his face hardens. He looks at Tom with a betrayed expression.

"Is this a trap?"

"No. It's a conversation about your future. Come in and close the door, please."

The teen thinks about it for a bit but finally nods, pushes the door close with his foot, and elbows it through the lock before moving forward and placing his bulging file on the study desk.

Tom points him to a chair, sits at the desk, and reviews the materials. They are carefully identified. All were typed on the computer without noticeable spelling or writing errors. In his letter of intent, Brad mentions his family connection to the Navy but insists on his ideological and vocational motivations. Interesting: he mentions his excellent results in video games as an example of familiarity with the field.

"I thought you didn't like "US Navy" Fighters 97"?"

The boy snorts.

"What happens is that Jake and Sean are lousy team players. I can only play when Iná takes them to the reserve."

Mav opens his mouth to defend them, but Ice silences him with a look. He keeps reading.

When he's done, he returns the materials to the folder. He thinks about it briefly, comes out from behind the bureau, and sits in an armchair across from his son.

"Mav, come here" -and extends a hand.

The brunette leaves his corner and approaches, confused. Ice pulls him up when he takes his hand, and makes him sit on his lap. He feels his husband's whole body tense, but he prevents him from leaving by putting an arm around his waist.

Across from them, Bradley straightens in his seat, surprised. He even cast a fearful glance at the window.

Ice caresses Mav's cheek with his free hand, making him look into his eyes.

"Everything is fine," he whispers. "Don't worry."

He moves his hand to the nape of his partner's neck and pulls him closer. Pete's breathing hitches, and his pupils dilate in panic when he realizes Tom is trying to kiss him.

"No," he moans, years of conditioning on action.

"Yes," says Ice, who controls his fear by the decision to protect Bradley from something he doesn't even know about. "Come here."

Their lips touch. As usual, after they start, Pete relaxes in his husband's arms and responds enthusiastically.

A throat clearing breaks the bubble.

Mav jerks away. Only Ice's grip prevents him from falling to the ground. He blushes and hides his face at the base of her husband's neck, struggling to control his breathing. Tom massages his back.

Across from them, Bradley is slumped in his own seat, tense as a wire. His eyes dart desperately across the room, avoiding his parents.

"We have been together for almost twelve years, but showing me affection in front of only one person can cause a panic attack in your dad. Do you think it's healthy?"

Bradley looks down at his hands.

"No," he says softly, without looking up.

Ice nods.

"I was your age when I entered Annapolis. Pete was nineteen when he was finally accepted into the AVROC program. We were both alone in the world, the Navy offering us refuge. That shelter came at a cost no one warned us about: We've spent more than half our lives in the closet. It wasn't out of patriotism, Bradley. It was because we had no other choice. That has left a deep mark on our lives."

The boy growls.

"I know it will be hard. okay? But you're just like dad. You think I'm not strong enough."

"Of course not, son. It is not about what strengthens but about options. We want you to explore your options before you commit to spending ten years hiding a fundamental part of yourself."

"But I'm a Bradshaw!" -the boy gets up and begins to stride around the office. "I am the adopted son of Pete "Maverick" Mitchell! What else could I be but a pilot or RIO for the Navy?"

"You have to find out by yourself."

The boy turns to see his dad, who has finally calmed down enough to intervene in the conversation. His cheeks are still streaked with pink, and he hasn't wiped away the tears, but he stands proud in his partner's lap.

"We want you to apply to civil universities because you have to leave this house, Brad, not to fulfill what you think your last name demands but to be happy."

"We don't know much about those applications," -Ice admits-"but surely your adviser at the high school can help you."

"Or my colleagues at Lockheed Martin."

Bradley looks at them again, his eyes stopping on Tom and Pete's clasped hands. He's known them all his life, but it's the second time he's seen them do something so simple.

"Okay. I've heard that the University of Virginia has a good engineering program."

"Wonderful! Slider is Commander of Norfolk now. He'll be able to bail you out when you get in trouble."

"Dad!"

"Maverick!"

"What?"