ROOTS 3

Part 4 of: The Lies We Told Each Other

Fandom: Top Gun (Movies)

INDEX: http://palabraspulsares.blogspot.com/p/the-lies-we-told-each-other-4-roots.html

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Chapter 3: Losin' It

Summary

Jake gets help from Brig and Bradley.
Iceman suffers in silence.
Sam and Sean don't know what's happening, but it all seems to be their father's fault.
Maverick and Sarah try to devise a strategy to get their husband back.

 

Sunday, August 3

 

Moapa Valley, 5 a.m.

 

Jake turns off the engine and shakes his head in a vain attempt to loosen the stiffness in his neck and back. It has been six brutal hours. He looks out the window at the silhouette of the Moapa Motel and congratulates himself for remembering the location. It is a long, single-story building whose light-colored walls stand out at night. It has that air of slight danger that many roadside motels convey. You could say it's scary but picturesque.

The parking lot has a diverse collection of trucks, cars, and motorcycles. That's good. It means the Honda won't attract attention. He takes his backpack and sack, locks the car, and heads slowly to his shelter for the night.

Like many roadside motels, Moapa includes a small grocery store. To save staff, the reception is inside the store. So Jake already has several light food packages and a dental hygiene pack when he arrives at the employee.

"A single room."

The man looks him up and down, skeptical.

"It's seventy a night. Check out is at ten."

Jake doesn't have the energy to be offended because this stranger thinks he's a kid who ran away from home. He drops the chips, cookies, juice, and dental hygiene pack on the counter.

"Two nights then," he says as he takes his ID and bank card out of his wallet.

He only has about five hundred dollars to his name, but he knows that if he doesn't sleep, his trip will end soon, and in a bloody way. When he wakes up, he will do the math.

The room is clean, with minimal furniture and decoration. The air conditioning is strong, but he leaves it on because he knows the room will turn into an oven when dawn breaks outside. He puts his things on the floor and goes straight to the bathroom. The shower mat is stained, but the water pressure is good, and the soap has a flowery scent that's not too strong.

Plug in your phone charger.

He eats at the minimum table, carefully puts the leftovers in the mini refrigerator, and brushes his teeth before bed.

Despite his fatigue, Jake finds it hard to fall asleep. The duvet is rough, the sheets smell like strong industrial detergent, and the walls are an aseptic beige. Nothing is like his room. The enormity of what he did hits him hard now that the adrenaline is gone from his system.

The room he no longer has.

In the house that he no longer has.

Where the family he no longer has lives.

He stood up to Kazansky and is now on his own.

When he was near Hesperia, he considered leaving I-95 and continuing north to sleep at China Lake with Sundown. He was stopped by the knowledge that Rear Admiral Williams would immediately call his father or, worse! Kazansky. So he decided to continue to Nevada, figuring Neven and Wolfe were less likely to return him to University City. After all, they're not in the Navy anymore.

During the trip, Jake tried to weigh his options.

He knows he can't survive the two weeks left to enter the USNA with just five hundred dollars and a car that isn't in his name. He needs help, but he doesn't want to talk to anyone from the damn "86 Squad" because he has no idea if they are aware of Iceman's manipulations or are his accomplices. He knows that Sarah and her father are caught in his web but beyond that...

All the adults he grew up with are no longer trustworthy!

That leaves Brig, here in Nevada, and Bradley, in New Jersey. The idea that in a few hours, he will see Brigham gives him an inner warmth that he has no energy to analyze.

Because he's asleep.

 

Kazansky-Mitchell Residence, 9 a.m.

 

Usually, weekend breakfasts are always informal. During the school year, its inhabitants stop by the kitchen at odd hours to prepare or reheat whatever they want, whenever they decide, until Sunday dinner. Sarah demands that they have dinner on Sunday on time and with everyone so the children can go to bed early and be ready for school the next day. During the summer, that only formality is canceled.

Jake, Sam, and Sean unknowingly received a crash course in household management this summer. Their iná declared them responsible for their diet and gave them a budget. If they also cooked for her, the meal cost would be reimbursed. However, since Sarah still works at the hospital, the trio is mostly on their own. With Tom and Pete visiting this weekend, they were supposed to eat as a family. Instead, they had a Saturday lunch and dinner with numerous awkward silences, a screaming contest on Saturday night, and Jake speeding off with his mother's car - with Sarah's favorite thermos on board.

No one wants to leave their room that Sunday, but hunger is a universal affliction.

The first one to get off is Sean. He hurries to heat the milk while looking towards the patio, restless. When is Jake coming back? He had never heard him so angry. As he is focused outside, he does not notice the arrival of someone else.

"Good morning," Tom greets him with a hoarse voice.

The boy turns around quickly.

"Uh…"

The microwave alarm saves him. Sean takes out the bowl of milk and puts cereal in it with his back turned towards the man. He decides to go have breakfast at the dining room table to escape. Sean sighs in relief when his father doesn't try to tell him anything. Still, he sneaks at him as the man wanders around the kitchen preparing breakfast. He looks exhausted, with a grayish face, bags under his eyes, and a slowness in his movements that makes him uncomfortable.

Finally, his father also sits in the dining room. With a plate of toast with jam and a cup of… Sean wrinkles his nose at the smell of the infusion: chamomile? Icepop always drinks coffee in the mornings.

Tom slowly brings the cup to his face, absorbs the medicinal aroma of the brew, and takes a sip. He wrinkles his nose (he has never liked chamomile) and takes another sip. Tom doesn't enjoy it, but he knows he should ingest something to calm his stomach before trying to eat the toast. He spent the night crying and vomiting. Every time he fell asleep, he had a nightmare from which he woke up with heaves. Ultimately, he gave up, grabbed a pillow and a blanket, and lay beside the bathroom door. After all, he was alone in bed.

Sam comes down fully dressed. She ignores them as she passes because all her attention is on her cell phone.

"I don't even know how many messages I have left you. This is not cool, brother. If you want a chill-out, okay, last night was intense -she briefly looks at their father and tightens her jaw- but you can't leave me hanging like this. Call, text, or message. I just want proof of life. Yeah?"

Sam leaves her cell phone on the counter, pours herself some coffee, and takes the ingredients for an omelet out of the refrigerator. The new message alarm sounds when she is ready to turn on the stove, and she rushes toward the device. Disappointed, she sees that it is her father's.

"What is this?"

Iceman is glad he has a reason to stop nibbling on the toast because he can already feel the nausea rising in his throat again.

"The proof of life."

And he forces himself to drink what is left of the chamomile.

Sam stares at him in disbelief but realizes he won't say anything else. The truth is that her father looks ready to fall asleep against the table. She had only seen him like this once when she was a ten-year-old girl. In October 2001, Icepop returned all gaunt after his three-day visit to DC was extended by a month. Back then, America was under attack. Does this mean Jake won't be back anytime soon? The young woman feels a chill of fear and opens the message. Attached is an image of a transaction receipt for Jake's bank card. The location is hidden, but she can read the shopping list and the time... five fifteen in the morning?

That means their brother is safe. Probably sleeping. She raises her face to Sean and gives him the slightest smile. Her younger brother nods and resumes devouring his cereal.

Sam leaves the phone on the table to deal with her stomach.

The last one to arrive is Sarah, almost an hour later. She also has dark circles under her eyes, but at least she looks as energetic as ever.

"Good morning, Sean," she ruffles his blonde hair as she passes.

"Good morning iná."

"Good morning, Sam," she puts a hand on her shoulder.

"Good morning iná."

The woman walks to the kitchen without saying anything else.

Iceman doesn't try to tell her anything, either. He just keeps chewing the toast with a constipated face, cowering on his side of the table.

Sam looks at him with pity. On Friday afternoon, her mother's eyes shone as she talked about their love, and now... What happened last night? Did her brother also discover their love triangle and not react well? Iná told her, “most people don't understand love outside of monogamy." Could Jake be one of those people? But it doesn't make sense for Mom to punish Icepop for that, right?

She has to find an opportunity to talk to her alone. Her plans are interrupted by Sarah's voice.

"Sam, I want you to take Sean for a walk," their mother announces from the kitchen.

The girl opens her mouth to say that she doesn't want to be a babysitter, but her brother beats her to it.

"What?" -the boy reacts with an offended tone. "Iná, I have plans!"

Her mother raises an eyebrow at that argument. The whole family knows Sean's Sunday plans are always the same: playing "Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare" with his online friends.

"Your plans have been canceled," Sarah responds harshly. "I'm sure you'll have a good time wherever your sister takes you," she looks at her daughter with a challenging expression.

Sam is a pragmatic person. She can see that her mother, too, is as upset as she was in September 2001. Besides, being away from their parents could be better if Jake calls. She raises both hands in a placating gesture.

"I haven't said anything."

But Sean is not satisfied. He turns angrily towards his father.

"This is your fault!" -and strides towards the stairs.

Tom shakes at the accusation but says nothing. He lies very still, fighting against the retching and crying urges. His daughter's voice reaches him from afar.

"Can I take your car, Icepop?"

"Sure," he forces himself to say.

It's not like he uses that car much since it's Comander in Bahrain. Although Sarah will probably decide to take it for herself now that Jake has taken the SUV. He remains in slight drowsiness until he hears his wife's voice.

"We need to talk."

He opens his eyes and looks at her, surprised. She is sitting next to him. They are alone at the long dining room table.

"They can hear us," he argues, his voice a weak croak from stomach acid and lack of sleep.

"They're already gone," she answers. "Let's go upstairs, we have to talk," she repeats.

Upstairs? But that means… Pete? The mere possibility of being under that disdainful gaze again is enough for him to use what little strength he has left.

"No."

"Tom…"

Sarah runs a hand through her hair and bites her lip. She doesn't try to touch him, and that breaks his heart a little more.

"Tom, I can't fix this alone. Let's go upstairs and talk. Pete is waiting for us."

But Ice won't expose himself to more pain than is strictly necessary. He knows which side Maverick will take. He shakes his head from side to side in denial.

"I can't give him what he wants."

"At least tell me what happened. All night long, the only thing Pete said was incoherent babbling."

What happened? He is not sure at this point. He only knows that, once again, his previous life and his present life collided like two trains going at full speed but on the same line and in opposite directions. The horrible thing, the chilling thing, is that Rachel is dead for all intents and purposes. Only Jake keeps her memory alive. No matter how much he loves or gives him, Tom Kazansky will never live up to Rachel Seresin for Jake Mitchell. He thought he killed her, but Jake brought her back and won't let her die. He is fighting a zombie version of himself!

"Jake found photos," he finally tells her. "He showed us a photo in which Pete and I are sitting in the meadow. His face, Sarah, his face. He looked at Rachel with so much love."

"Pete has never loved Rachel," she interrupts firmly.

"Well, he didn't say that last night! Jake asked if he felt love in that photo and said yes. So he attacked with all his strength, as always when that name appears. He accused me of forcing Pete to leave her, of stealing him from his mother's arms."

"And you couldn't tell him..." -she understands.

"He's not ready, Sarah."

"How do you know?" -she gently takes his hand and squeezes it between hers- "Look at the surprise Sam gave us."

Tom responds with a sarcastic laugh.

"Really? Then why didn't I hear you make plans to tell him the whole truth? Will you let her go to Rickers alone, or are you going with her?" -Sarah quickly moves away, eyes widening- "Ah! Is it different when it comes to your secrets?"

"Don't do that," she begs.

"What?"

"To hide yourself, to keep us out."

And what else is he going to do? He's been hurt enough already. No matter what Hollywood and Wolf believe, he is not a masochist.

"What I do now doesn't matter. Jake wants something I can't give him, so we'll have to wait for him to calm down and think about it."

A part of him, the one that has gone soft after these years of happiness, wants to stay and let her comfort him. Luckily, Tom hasn't completely lost control of his emotions. He knew this was all stolen time, right? Still, his desire to cry is almost uncontrollable, and he wants to preserve the little dignity he has left. He has to go back to his room. He gets up with difficulty and begins to walk towards the stairs, leaning on the wall. Sarah tries to raise his arm to help him, but he pushes her away.

"Go with him," he knows his tone had the correct imperative intonation when she takes a step back.

"Tom…"

"I'm Iceman," he cuts her off, "you don't have to worry about me."

She lets him go.

 

Moapa Valley, 11 a.m.

 

He enters the dinner, feigning a calm he is far from feeling.

"Hello Brig," the waitress greets him.

"Hello," he answers automatically while scouring the place.

Finally, he sees him eating in one of the booths at the back.

"Can you bring me a milkshake, Alice?"

"Sure."

He heads towards Jake without further delay.

"Hey!" -he says as he sits down in front of his friend.

The blonde opens his eyes wide when he sees him and quickly swallows.

"Brig!" -His whole face perks up, and his green eyes shine happily.

Brigham feels satisfaction and melancholy when he sees the reaction. But the joy of seeing Jake won't displace his apprehension.

"What are you doing here? I saw Sarah's car outside. Where is she?"

Jake's face falls again.

"I left home last night. I left in Iná's car in the confusion of the fight. I'm on my own now."

Brigham doesn't scream, wave his arms, or explode in any way because they're in the town diner. He will keep coming here for a long time. His uncles have a monthly "romantic outing" that consists of coming here and eating peach pie. He tells himself he can't attract attention as he breathes heavily and grips the table's edge so hard his fingers turn pale.

"What did they do to you?" -he asks under his breath.

Then Jake smiles at him in amazement, as if he can't believe that he's automatically on his side, and Brig once again feels that mix of joy and longing that his interactions with Jake always bring him. His uncles have warned him that he should be more discreet, not only because of what those feelings could mean for his career but also because it is a miracle that the object of his affection hasn't realized it. He doesn't think it's a miracle, but rather something about Jake, who is very intelligent at reading people in almost everything, except when it comes to sexual relationships. Jake simply seems incapable of recognizing signs of courtship or romantic feelings. He once told him that society's obsession with sex confuses him.

None of that matters now. Jake looks at him fondly. Since everything indicates that this is the most he will ever get from this man, Brigham enjoys it to the fullest.

"Here's your milkshake, Brig."

"Thank you, Alice," he answers distractedly.

They wait for the waitress to walk away before resuming the conversation.

"So what happened? Whose face I have to go break?"

Jake sighs and takes a bite of his sandwich. It is clear he is trying to buy time.

"I... The same as always, I guess: my mother."

Brig purses his lips, uncomfortable. He doesn't understand Jake's fixation on his mother. Suspects that no one around him does. At the same time, who is he to judge? So he doesn't say anything but waits for Jake.

"Yesterday, Saturday, I found some photos in the house, proof that my father and Rachel were in love. All these years, he told me it had been something casual, an adventure. When I confronted him, he admitted to loving her. I asked him again who she was, but Kazansky wouldn't let him."

"Wait, wait. Are you saying that Iceman didn't let your father tell you anything about Rachel?"

"Exactly. Kazansky told me he had the keys and wouldn't tell me anything because I'm a child, and I can't handle the truth" - and takes a fierce bite of his sandwich.

"That makes no sense."

Jake nods as he chews and looks away. He doesn't want Brig to realize he's only telling half the story. No matter how much anger he feels, he is aware of what could happen if the relationship between his father and Kazansky comes to light. It's not just that they could both go to jail. It's that Sarah, Sam, and Sean's lives would be destroyed. Even Bradley's career would be in jeopardy by association. As for him... he will be a pariah in the USNA with this last name. He cannot even imagine what his life will be like if Maverick Mitchell's reputation for being insubordinate is added to that of being a faggot. Oh! How well the damn Iceman has played his cards.

Jake swallows and shrugs.

"So I said, “You know what, Vice Admiral Kazansky? I don't have to put up with this shit. I'm leaving." I grabbed what I could and got into the first car I found when leaving the house: Iná's Honda. Then I drove here.

He smiles sadly.

"Well, finish your breakfast, and let's go home."

"No."

Brig raises his eyebrows, amazed.

"How not? It's two weeks until school starts, you have to stay somewhere. Or are you going back to San Diego?"

"Neither. Look... I've realized that I trusted the wrong people. Dad and Kazansky have been lying all these years about Rachel. So I'll go to the reservation myself for answers. At least I can ask for my birth certificate and I will know her full name. Then I'm going to stay with Bradley in Lakehurst. It's only three hours from Annapolis."

"Okay, but stay at my house at least tonight. Wolf and Hollywood…"

"They are lifelong friends of Maverick and Kazansky," Jake cuts in. "We don't know how much they know about all this."

"What are you implying?"

"I'm not implying, I'm saying. I'm saying we can't trust anyone from "86 Squadron" on this. They were witnesses or accomplices of all that drama with my father and Rachel. I know Slider had an active role. I suspect Cougar, too. I don't know about the others. But they are all in Kazansky's network of favors. Although Wolf and Hollywood left the Navy, I don't know which side they'll be on. I don't know if they'll believe me. That's why I called you to meet here and didn't drive straight to your house."

Now, it's Brig who takes a long drink of his milkshake to hide his disbelief. Jake is riding the paranoia train and going at full speed. But he has no arguments to refute his distrust, so arguing will be useless. Suddenly, his beloved (?) It's like those fanatics who confronted him at school to explain why his uncles would go to hell after infecting him with homosexuality. They only stopped getting closer after he bloodied two of them and became friends with the leader of the Mexican gang in the punishment sessions. His uncle explained that sometimes you can only accompany the people you love because they will not be able to heal until they hit rock bottom and see, deep inside, that they were wrong.

Jake doesn't expect anything from him. Jake never expects kindness or support from people, he remembers bitterly. Even if Bradley receives him at Lakehurst, it will be up to Brigham to take care of him at the USNA. He can't let him walk away now, or he'll lose him forever.

"Okay. What do you need?"

"Just like that? No discussion?"

"I know you. You are stubborn and wary. If you thought you would tell me what happened, I would defend my family, we would fight, and you could ignore me in the USNA. I'm glad to disappoint you. I don't know how Kazansky controls your father. I don't know if the rest of the 86 squadron is part of some conspiracy. I don't mind. I'm with you, Jake. Never doubt it. Because I'm your friend.

He almost said, "I love you," but he stopped himself. This is not the time or the place.

Jake looks at him some more with his strange expression of calculating disbelief. Brig understands that he is readjusting his plans because he thought this was a farewell. Finally, the blonde's expression goes from calculating to defeated.

"I need money," he starts playing with his cutlery to avoid Brig's eyes. "I only had five hundred dollars when I left home last night. I already spent a hundred and eighty on the motel where I'm staying and about fifty on food and gas. If you help me review what things I could sell that I grabbed...

But Brig doesn't have the stomach for such depressing babble.

"Call Bradley."

The idea seems to surprise him.

"Bradley?"

"Of course. I'm sure your phone has voicemails, texts, and missed calls. Someone in your family must have called him, too. Or were you planning to show up at his door and say surprise?"

"Well…"

"Change of plans. You finish eating, we go to your room at the motel and call Bradley."

Jake smiles with his whole face for the first time.

 

Kazansky-Mitchell Residence, 11 a.m.

 

Sarah enters the room with a tray of food. He doesn't turn on the light but waits for her eyes to adjust to the darkness and goes to the dressing table to put down her load. Then she approaches the bed, sits on the edge, and gently shakes the figure hidden in the blankets.

"Pete, come on."

He just growls.

"Pete, you have to eat. I brought you several things, you will like some of them."

"I'm not hungry."

"Your brain is sending distorted signals due to sadness. Trust me, I'm a doctor."

"You are a midwife."

"Which, among other things, advises on diet during pregnancy and the first months postpartum."

"I'm not pregnant."

"You also don't know anything about hunger problems due to trauma. I do. Get out from under there," she repeats in a firm voice as she pulls the blankets.

Pete moans as he feels the room's cool air on his skin. He tries to cover his face with a pillow, but Sarah grabs it, too, and they struggle.

"I don't want to!"

"You can't stay in bed all day."

"Yes I can!"

"You're like a little child, Mitchell. This way, we are not going to solve anything."

"What are you doing here? Go with your husband."

"Our husband," she corrects, "doesn't want to talk to me either. But at least he went down to take chamomile so he wouldn't die of dehydration."

That makes Maverick react. He rises to his knees on the bed and looks at her uneasily.

"What are you talking about?"

"He was vomiting all night. Didn't you hear it? No, of course, you were too busy crying and feeling sorry for yourself to find out anything."

"All the more reason for you to go with him."

"I already tried that," she smacks her lips angrily. "He pushed me aside with his iceman pose and sent me to take care of you."

Pete looks uneasily at the bathroom door that connects both rooms.

"I don't need anything. It was him whom Jake said…"

The mention of his son and the horrible events of the previous night bring a knot to his chest again. He feels his throat close.

"Calm down, calm down Pete. Breathe with me, okay?" -Sarah sits on the bed beside him. She brings Pete's hand to her chest so he can feel the rhythm of her breathing- "In, out, in, out. That is. You are doing it very well."

A few agonizing minutes pass, in which the only sound is Pete's labored breathing. When the panic attack passes, she goes to the dresser and returns with the tray. She places it on the bed and puts a glass of juice in his hands.

"Drink," she orders.

This time, he obeys without protest. The slightly acidic and sweet liquid is cool on his throat and makes him aware of his hunger. Pete starts eating without needing further insistence.

When he moves away from the tray, she sits with her back against the headboard, crosses her arms over her chest, and looks at him seriously.

"Can we talk now?"

Pete glances briefly at the bathroom door but nods.

"Tell me what happened last night."

"We talked to him about our relationship, and everything seemed to be going well. Then he asked how long we'd been together. I told him that since 1988, everything went down the drain. Who had I cheated on, he asked, Ice or Rachel? When we tried to tell him about our break, he became frantic. He showed us a photo. Where did he get the damn photo? It was one of the photos you took of us at the reservation. He asked me if it was love I felt. I couldn't lie... When Ice tried to cut that off, Jake confronted him. They have the same capacity to be nasty. He called him manipulative, that he had stolen him from his mother's arms, that he was a monster."

"And Tom?"

"Tom immediately locked himself in his ice shell. He told him he was a child who couldn't handle the truth. Jake said he didn't have to put up with that shit. And he took your car. I…then…I was beside myself watching him leave."

"What did you say to him?"

Pete lowers his face. Everything that happened last night was horrible, but how he left Ice mortifies him the most. He has betrayed him. There's no way I'd want him again after this.

"I called him a coward," he sighs, "I told him he was a coward for not giving in to Jake's demands."

He dares to look at her through his eyelashes. He expects Sarah to barely contain her rage, but she just looks sad.

"Yes, we fucked up good," she says, looking towards the bathroom door.

Confused, Pete looks directly at her.

"We have?"

"Who took the photos of Ice being pregnant, Pete? Who had to keep them safe?"

Maverick purses his lips, lost. He hadn't thought about that. Where did that photo come from? He remembers Ice's first reaction when he saw the image.

"He said they should never have existed," he whispers.

Sarah nods.

"And he is right. We force him. He wasn't comfortable with his body, but you wanted a memory, and I felt like shit, so I wanted to see some beauty in both of you. That's why we convinced him that what he felt was not important. Look what that brought us. Jake saw your love in that damn photo because, let's face it, you were like Cary Elwes in The Princess Bride."

Maverick slaps himself in the face. The situation is getting worse. He sits next to her.

"You believe that…?"

"He knows that everything is your fault and mine? Of course."

"So?"

"As I see it, we have two problems: Jake and Tom. Our son knows that Tom is the key to everything, although he suspects the wrong reasons."

"Oh!" Pete rolls his eyes. "It is all very dramatic. Something about Ice blackmailing me into leaving Rachel and going back to him."

Sarah snorts.

"Teenagers! Tom knows this is all our fault because we gaslighted him to take the photos in 1991 and didn't keep them safe. He's going to punish us for that. And for making Jake leave."

"And we will deserve it," he admits with a grimace.

She nudges him.

"Quit the self-pity party, Mitchell. We can't let Ice isolate himself. We have to save this family."

"How?"

"It isn't obvious? We must make him remember why he fell in love with you and me and pray that that outweighs his pain over the loss of Jake."

 

Bradley Bradshaw's apartment, New Jersey, 2:30 p.m.

 

As soon as he sees the number on the screen, he waves to Wilson and takes the call as he walks to his room.

"Jake, for God's sake. Finally! Are you okay? Where are you?"

He closes the bedroom door and goes to sit on the bed.

"At Moapa Valley, with Brig."

Bradley does some mental math. Sam told him his brother had left the house a little after ten last night. It is six hours by road to Moapa.

"Where did you sleep?"

He prays that he doesn't tell him that he stopped in a curve and rested on the rudder.

"At the town motel."

"Okay, okay," he exhales. He can't get hysterical; the motel isn't ideal, but it could have been worse. "Now are you where ta Hollywood and Wolf's? That's okay."

"No," -his brother cuts him off- "I'm at the motel and I'm going to sleep here."

"You just told me that you are with Brigham."

"I'm here, yes," Lennox's voice sounds low as if he were far from the phone.

"He's with me at the motel. He'll go back home when we are done with this," Jake explains in a dry voice.

Bradley tears his hair, confused.

"Let's start at the beginning. Sam called me last night at midnight hysterical, saying that you had left in Iná's car after a monumental fight with Dad and Ice."

"Yes, I confronted Kazansky, and, well, after that, I had no choice but to leave."

"Did you fight with Icepop? Why?"

"Because it turns out that, one, Dad was in love with Rachel, and, two, it's Kazansky who won't let him tell me who she is."

Bradley tries to make sense of what he just heard, but he can't. That Ice knows who Rachel is doesn't surprise him that much. After all, Rachel almost took Pete away from him. A man like Iceman would research his rival thoughtfully. But to have control over their father in such a personal matter. No. There is something that doesn't fit.

"That doesn't make sense," he finally says.

"The same thing I said," adds Brig.

"Well, that's what it is," Jake responds belligerently.

He can imagine him with hard eyes, a frown, and his lips reduced to a thin line. Jake has no idea how much he imitates Iceman.

"Okay," he says conciliatory.

He won't gain anything by alienating him. He has to persuade him to go somewhere safe.

"And why don't you want to go to uncles Wolf and Hollywood's house?"

"Because I don't know if they'll call Dad to take me home."

That makes sense, he has to admit.

"Then come here. I'll buy you a plane ticket. How long will it take you to drive to Las Vegas? Someone can return the car to San Diego later."

"No," Jake cuts him off again. "I have to go somewhere else first."

"Somewhere elsa? Jake! You're seventeen years old. You can't cross America alone. Come here and…"

"I have to go to the reservation, Bradley! I have to find out by myself who was Rachel, since Dad and Kazansky had been lying to us all these years."

He stays quiet. Surprised again by his brother's persistence. He'll have to negotiate.

"And after that, you'll fly to New Jersey?"

Jake takes a while to respond. Of course, he doesn't want to give up the autonomy that Iná's car gives him, but they both know their limits. There is no way Bradley would allow his underage brother to drive alone from South Dakota to New Jersey. He understands he can't recruit Brig as a co-pilot. The three know that Wolf and Hollywood will not let their nephew embark on such an adventure. In short, he has the winning hand.

"Yes," Jake concedes with a defeated tone. "After that, I will fly to New Jersey."

"And you will text me every two hours while you are on the road."

"Every three."

"Okay, every three." -smiles pleased. "How do you want me to send you the money? PayPal or Western Union?"

"It's Saturday," -says Brig- "Our Western Union will close in two hours."

Ah! Right, Moapa is a small town.

"I'm leaving right now."

"Wait. Better PayPal."

Bradley stops with his hand already extended toward the doorknob.

"You're sure?"

He knows they're both thinking the same thing: Jake will have to transfer the funds from PayPal to his bank account to use them. Those transactions are visible to Dad and Iceman because their brother is a minor. Now that he thinks about it, isn't that strange? Kazansky being the one who controls all the family finances.

He hears Jake snort on the other end of the line.

"If you use Western Union, I must carry all that cash on me. It's not safe." -he sounds frustrated but determined- "I'm not going to risk getting shot in some dusty gas station just for pride. Besides, he's Kazansky. He knows exactly where I'm going."

That last sentence scares Bradley. What is Jake up to? But he silences that concern for the moment. Now, he must focus on bringing Jake into his arms. He heads towards his computer.

"Do you think six hundred is enough? I want you to sleep in a good hotel tomorrow."

 

Monday, August 4

 

Kazansky-Mitchell Residence, 9 a.m.

 

Sarah enters the room through the bathroom door. Tom is fixing his tie in the mirror.

"Is he gone?" -he asks without turning around.

She nods silently, leans against the wall, and looks at him with sadness and uncertainty.

In the life they had until Saturday night, he wouldn't have to ask such a thing. Tom would have sent Pete off with a tight hug and ardent promises to make up some inspection to see him fly in Norway.

In his new life, the miserable life that opens before him like a desolate and gray road, the two walk around the house on tiptoe, looking at the corners like thieves and clumsily ignoring each other -because in their more than twenty years of knowing each other, they never pretend not to see each other. So, instead of carpooling to the Navy Headquarters, Mav called a taxi. That's why Sarah, instead of hugging him and helping him with his uniform, watches him while trying to decide how to tell him that their relationship is going to end.

"Tom, do you at least know where Jake is?"

That wasn't what he expected, but he didn't show surprise. He checks his wristwatch and does some mental calculations.

"On the first leg of his road trip to South Dakota. He will sleep in Denver because he can't stand the idea of being in Utah."

She looks at him dumbfounded. Her husband sees the expression through the mirror and feels a pang in his heart. Why does she have to mention their boy if what she wants is to tell him not to come back?

"Are you watching him?" -her eyes move desperately around the room- "Does my car have some kind of tracker?"

"No. Why…?" -Tom cuts off mid-sentence.

After this turbulent weekend, his entire family thinks the worst of him. They will do it for a long time. There is nothing to do about it. He simply must continue to be himself. The waters will return to their level... or not. That's not important. Tom made a promise and plans to keep it.

"You married one of the best military strategists in the United States. I don't need electronic monitoring to know where my seventeen-year-old son is going," -and he emphasizes the "my."

It's one thing to stay calm and another to let them forget: he, too, has lost a son.

She bites her lip, hesitant, but decides to speak her mind.

"What happened two days ago..."

"Thirty-five hours," he corrects automatically.

"What?"

"That not two days have passed, but thirty-five hours. He left at ten o'clock on Saturday night."

Once again, Sarah's face expresses surprise but, above all, confusion. She sighs and seems to come to a decision.

"Alright. We'll do it your way. Can you tell me why Jake is going to South Dakota?"

Tom goes to the chair where his suitcase rests and starts to check the contents. He hasn't packed his suitcase without help for years. Since they moved into this house in 1994.

"Because he knows he was born on the Oglala reservation and wants answers. He is going to request a copy of his birth certificate in a desperate attempt to locate his biological mother."

That scares her. Their eyes meet briefly. She looks away and snorts. Tom can follow his train of thought: why isn't he afraid too?

"You're too calm." His tone is almost accusatory.

Tom feels slightly dizzy and decides to sit on the bed. When was the last time he ate? Saturday dinner, the last time his family gave him a kind look. Why is Sarah looking at him expectantly? Oh yeah, where is Jake going? Why isn't he crying?

"I am calm because there is nothing to fear. Jake will arrive at Pine Ridge tomorrow, ask for the document, and someone will notify Walter. It's only a matter of time before our brother talks to him." -he hears her gasp and smiles cruelly at her.

They don't often talk about the incestuous nature of their relationship. At first, they were just pretending to be lovers, so it wasn't significant. When it occurred to Pete that they should get married, she argued that since they met as adults, their relationship would never influence their relationship. The taboo of incest is learned. He agrees. Being Sarah's half-brother is something casual in his life. If it weighed on anything, it was in his fierce decision to protect her even before they fell in love.

But today, Tom Kazansky enjoys mentioning the small family oddities that he knows make her uncomfortable. After all, in the last -he briefly looks at the clock- thirty-five hours and fifteen minutes, he became the villain of the story. They prefer to ignore that he was also wounded. Plus, Sarah is about to end their marriage. So it feels good to make her hold her breath by reminding her that she's not innocent in Jake's escape either.

Sarah's photos triggered the disaster: the photos that she and Mav insisted on taking, the ones that she didn't bother to hide. Those photos should never have existed. They document months of horror, in which he could barely recognize himself in the mirror. Mav was looking at him adoringly, and he couldn't help but wonder who he was seeing: Tom or Rachel? Since his belly began to show, he was struggling with the feeling that his body was betraying him in the worst possible way. He loved his baby since he learned about their existence, but the process of bringing Jake into the world... Sarah insisted that he was beautiful, glorious, and he can't remember how many more bullshit. She and Pete convinced him to pose because "those memories will be important when you tell them the truth." Horse shit! A DNA test is the only thing that will be needed.

"Our brother," he repeats, staring at her, and feels a cruel satisfaction when he sees her shrink a little, "will tell him a lot of half-truths, which will end up dissuading him from continuing the investigation. He will likely return to studying Lakota instead. Which will be good in the long run for him. He'll spend a day or two in Allen before heading East."

He gets up slowly to avoid more dizziness. Now sure that he won't hit the ground face-first, he closes his suitcase, takes his work briefcase, and walks slowly towards the door. Sarah follows him.

"To the East?"

They start going down the stairs.

"Bradley is at Lakehurst Naval Base, New Jersey. He'll hide there to lick his wounds until he can go to the USNA dorms."

"But then he's not going to come back?" -Sarah's voice is a few decibels higher than usual. It irritates Tom more than he wants to admit.

He decides to go in search of coffee. He will not be able to get to the office like this and has several meetings on the agenda before embarking back to Bahrain. Sean and Sam are in the dining room but ignore their mother and father. They must have heard Sarah's desperate question. Tom doesn't have the energy to force them to do anything, either.

He leaves his briefcase on one of the chairs at the table, his suitcase next to it, and walks towards the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee. When he reaches for the coffee pot, he realizes he is shaking. He places both hands on the marble surface and takes a deep breath to disguise it.

"Jake isn't coming back anytime soon, Sarah."

She stands on the other side of the counter, facing him. Opens her mouth to refute his statement. Tom stops her with a shake of his head.

"Not for Thanksgiving, not for Christmas, not for spring break. You know he takes being stubborn from both sides," - she nods and rubs her hands, frustrated.

With Sam and Sean around, they can't be explicit, so that sentence is the closest thing to acknowledging his responsibility for that personality trait. Both he and Pete are strong-willed men.

The trembling has subsided, and he pours himself and enjoys it as the warmth of the coffee spreads through his body. No matter how delicious the drink is, he is aware that he cannot continue like this much longer. Will he be able to eat something in the office? He can always tell his assistant that he's sick in the stomach and order some broth. Maybe he won't throw that up.

"You don't know shit," comes Sean's vitriolic comment from the dining room.

It couldn't be any other way, right? It's Mitchell's blood. Sean has decided that Tom is the culprit, but he is still a child. He cannot remain silent like Pete or Sam nor try to mediate like Sarah. He is simply in disbelief and hurt by his brother's untimely departure. So he shows his displeasure in short, sharp sentences - like his biological father. The inability to remain silent about what is wrong has gotten Maverick into much trouble throughout his life. But Tom is an adult with long experience handling Mitchell men. Just don't get into the fire zone when they're enraged. So he doesn't answer directly.

"He won't go anywhere where he thinks he can meet me," he explains for the benefit of the entire family.

Over Sarah's head, she sees Sam and Sean exchange amazed glances, and shy smiles appear on their faces.

Tom takes another sip of coffee. Should he wait for Sarah to decide she doesn't want him for Christmas, or should he preserve some dignity and offer an excuse? It's too early for that. He's sure what Jake will do for the next three weeks, but once he gets to USNA... Too many factors. Their son may decide he wants nothing to do with the Kazansky family.

His eyes stop on Sean, hunched over his bowl of cereal. Will Jake have the courage to hurt his younger brother like that? Jake is an angry teenager, he remembers bitterly. He may not realize the side effects his desire to punish Pete and Tom would have. After all, he believed for years that he was a spare and had to justify his presence and pay for the love they gave him. He could rationalize that Sam and Sean don't need him and cut off all contact.

That is the ultimate catastrophe scenario. Tom won't let his mind go there without concrete evidence.

He leaves the cup in the sink. Can he wash it? No, it's best not to risk the tremors returning while holding a fragile object between soap-slick fingers.

He looks at his wristwatch: his car will arrive in five minutes. He walks slowly back to collect his luggage and stops briefly by the dining room table.

"I'm leaving," he announces.

Sam and Sean pretend not to have heard.

Sarah's eyes are wet. She does realize what he's saying. Still, she stays next to the kitchen counter. He can't help but feel a little betrayed but suppresses the feeling. This is his penance. Whatever it takes he will do whatever it takes for his family. He decides it is better to wait at the portal.

As he closes the car door, Sarah runs out of the house.

"Tom…" -her lips tremble. She hugs him awkwardly.

He is filled with the aroma of her hair and caresses the back of her neck.

"Don't worry about me," he whispers. "I always knew that this was going to end, that you would realize that I..."

"Stop with the crap! -she separates from him to look him in the eyes- "I want you back for Thanksgiving. I'm serious!" -and whispers, "Use your powers to get Pete here. You can't celebrate your china wedding anniversary without your husband, right?"

 

INDEX: http://palabraspulsares.blogspot.com/p/the-lies-we-told-each-other-4-roots.html